Saturday and i play a waiting game, just get through the day, then i am told at 5 pm a bed is ready for me at queens and i need to wait for ambulance transport, but they are busy so it could be any time, in the mean time husband and daughter come and see me, they have spent so much time back and forth and without them and my son i think i would have gone mad before now.
The shift change is happening on the ward for nights will i or wont i go? suddenly the crew from the ambulance arrive and they are both lovely really chatty and surprised to see me as i was on the 'stroke' ward as they called it and they were not expecting me chatting away to them.
We got to Queens by 9.45 pm and was i in for a shock back onto a six bay lights noise drips pingging away and a very busy ward.
Seen by two different doctors before i could just lie down, one who explained that the procedure i was to undergo was a brain biopsy,with added risks etc, really scared now.
After some time nurses come and chat to me i let them know that i do not sleep due to the steroids,welcome to have drinks if i want in the night, that sounds so good.
Thursday, 14 October 2010
MDT day
Friday and my life is in their hands, nervous day just sat waiting just feeling numb.
Suddenly a doctor comes after lunch and says that i will be tranferred to Queens over the weekend sometime and i will have a procedure on monday, try to rest.
Cannot say much more just so scared.
Suddenly a doctor comes after lunch and says that i will be tranferred to Queens over the weekend sometime and i will have a procedure on monday, try to rest.
Cannot say much more just so scared.
The team visit me again
Thursday morning, ward round by the neuro team, straight to the point, glad of it really, there is a shadow on my brain, the scans have shown no other problems anywhere in my body, thats good news, we have sent the scans to Queens medical team and there is an MDT meeting where your case will be discussed and they will decide what the next move is.
I now know we are talking tumour, cancer here and my brain goes into overdrive, damm steroids.
The rest of the day is just a total whirl and cannot remember much more.
I now know we are talking tumour, cancer here and my brain goes into overdrive, damm steroids.
The rest of the day is just a total whirl and cannot remember much more.
MRI scan
Wednesday morning and today is the big scan, taken down at 11 and set up with some music to listen to the carpenters have never sounded so good, even though i can only just hear it, the noise the scan makes are all different and it actually sounds quite comforting, flipping heck i really am out of it here.
Nothing more to say about the day really just longing for some sleep.
Nothing more to say about the day really just longing for some sleep.
Yet another scan
Tuesday and i am told i will go for the CT scan, head chest and abdomen sometime today just sit and wait untill then.
I go for the scan at 2.30 and feel so uncomfortable during it as once again part is done without contrast and second part done with, but my arms have to be up and over my head through the machine so the injection can be done remotely, i must be glowing by now. This scan takes an age and i am so glad to get back to the ward after and have a lie down, not that i sleep even though i feel tired now i just cannot drop off.
I go for the scan at 2.30 and feel so uncomfortable during it as once again part is done without contrast and second part done with, but my arms have to be up and over my head through the machine so the injection can be done remotely, i must be glowing by now. This scan takes an age and i am so glad to get back to the ward after and have a lie down, not that i sleep even though i feel tired now i just cannot drop off.
Big day
Monday comes, been very comfortable in my room and all the staff seem really nice, but i did not sleep at all, the steroids are kicking in i think and i have just read most of the night, sit and wait for the doctors rounds.
The neurologist and his team come to me and i have all the same reflex tests and sensetive tests carried out and will be having another CT scan of head,chest and abdomen and a full head and body MRI scan, this really is getting scary now, i will also be referred to another hospital to the neurosurgery dept there to be aware of me.
Spent the rest of the day just resting and generally nervous.
The neurologist and his team come to me and i have all the same reflex tests and sensetive tests carried out and will be having another CT scan of head,chest and abdomen and a full head and body MRI scan, this really is getting scary now, i will also be referred to another hospital to the neurosurgery dept there to be aware of me.
Spent the rest of the day just resting and generally nervous.
That Scan
Anyway Saturday dawns and i am feeling just a kittle bit nervous of what lies ahead, chatting to some of the others on the bay i am on passes a little time and then a porter comes and takes me on the longest journey of my life so far, it did feel like it. He was chattereing away about all sorts and nothing but this was nice to hear.
I have a scan and the technician says to stay on the table a little while longer while someboby has a look at it, so the nurse who came with us stood chattering with me, looking at a beautiful beach picture on the ceiling imagining that a gorgeous man is stood there with me taking care of all my needs, rapidily bought back to earth when the technician says just need to do one more scan with some contrast in, all this is explained to me and away i go into the scanner again,m metalic taste in my mouth and feeling that i am peeing myself, all quite normal for this contrast, though not for me. Back to the ward and waiting.
Couple of hours later a doctor comes with a nurse, pulls the curtains round and sits down on the bed,wow this is something, he told me there is some inflammation and other arears of concern on my scan and i will be started immedialty on steroids to try to reduce the inflammation, then tells me that these could make me a little hyper.
PANIC PANIC PANIC, Rang my husband and just dried up, eventually got it out i needed him as soon as possible, he got to me and i just could not get it out to him, so got him to get the doctor as he was still there, sat on the bed again and was halfway through explaining what was found to him and i go into another fit, OMG, how much more can i take, but the doctor was just so good putting me on some anti-convulsive straight away and trying just to reassure both of us. Got to stop in hospital for sure now and will see neurology on monday.
The rest of saturday was just such a nightmare to me, just felt numb and scared, did not sleep at all, just laid crying most of the night.
I have a scan and the technician says to stay on the table a little while longer while someboby has a look at it, so the nurse who came with us stood chattering with me, looking at a beautiful beach picture on the ceiling imagining that a gorgeous man is stood there with me taking care of all my needs, rapidily bought back to earth when the technician says just need to do one more scan with some contrast in, all this is explained to me and away i go into the scanner again,m metalic taste in my mouth and feeling that i am peeing myself, all quite normal for this contrast, though not for me. Back to the ward and waiting.
Couple of hours later a doctor comes with a nurse, pulls the curtains round and sits down on the bed,wow this is something, he told me there is some inflammation and other arears of concern on my scan and i will be started immedialty on steroids to try to reduce the inflammation, then tells me that these could make me a little hyper.
PANIC PANIC PANIC, Rang my husband and just dried up, eventually got it out i needed him as soon as possible, he got to me and i just could not get it out to him, so got him to get the doctor as he was still there, sat on the bed again and was halfway through explaining what was found to him and i go into another fit, OMG, how much more can i take, but the doctor was just so good putting me on some anti-convulsive straight away and trying just to reassure both of us. Got to stop in hospital for sure now and will see neurology on monday.
The rest of saturday was just such a nightmare to me, just felt numb and scared, did not sleep at all, just laid crying most of the night.
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